Heal The Woman Within

Women’s Month is around the corner.  If you are looking for a presentation that will touch the heart of your employees, women’s group or delegates, then Heal The Woman Within, may be just what you are looking for.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       About this presentation                                                                                                                                              As a Life Coach I have worked with many women in my coaching practice, women who try to deal with their emotional challenges by abusing a substance, resorting to destructive behaviour patterns or inappropriate sexual conduct. Too many women believe that it is not ideal to talk about their challenges. I believe that too many women (and men for that matter) lose their ability to speak their truth during their childhood; often as a result of “discipline.”

Everyone needs an outlet
When it comes to our challenges, we need an outlet. This means that we need to talk about it or seek appropriate help. When this need is not met, we encounter situations where our challenges manifest in various ways that tend to magnify the challenge that we started out with.

I received positive feedback for this presentation after a Women’s Day event last year. The women in the audience came from various backgrounds, but one thing that they had in common, was that they could all relate to the topic. Some spoke to me afterwards, thanking me for focusing on a topic that is real; a topic that made them look inward and reflect on their situation and inspired them to make the changes that they needed to make.

The role of cognitive dissonance
The reality of cognitive dissonance makes this situation even worse for those who are struggling with it. You know that what you choose to do is not productive, they know that they should stop and that they should seek help. However, they do not seek help, because of the shame, guilt and because they feel that they would risk losing the “perfect” image that they are trying to uphold.

Some of the manifestations that occur when you do not talk about your challenges or seek help
•Is your current challenge so overwhelming that you do not see yourself talking about it to anyone?
•Are you abusing drugs to help you cope, because you are unable to seek help?
•Do you drink too much alcohol, because it helps you forget about your challenge for a while?
•Do you abuse painkillers to try to numb that painful issue that you are struggling with?
•Do you have a desire to have a sexual encounter with someone else, but when you re-think it, you say to yourself: “This is unlike me.”?

Did you answer “yes” to one or more of the above?  Do you think that you are alone?           Rest assured – you are not alone; and there is help.                                                                                       (There are number of other manifestations – to be addressed during my presentation).

There is help
There are various ways in which to address the above manifestations as well as the particular challenge that resulted in the manifestation.                                                                     However, the first thing that you have to do is ask yourself the following question: “What is it that I need that I am not currently getting?”
                                                                                                                                                                                                    Do you think that your women’s group would benefit from this presentation?
With Heal The Woman Within, I do not simply put plaster over your emotional crack, but also focus on why the crack (emotional pain) had occurred in the first place.  I share ways in which to deal with such pain and share methods on how to heal.  Apart from that, I also address the various manifestations that come about when we do not deal with our challenges in an appropriate manner; and I give advice on how to address these manifestations.  Furthermore, I will point you in the right direction, should you need professional help.  I also share a few anonymous case studies that delegates are able to relate to.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     This presentation allows participants to do introspection, without making any disclosures in front of the group.  And hopefully, those who are struggling with this would be inspired to acknowledge their situation and seek the help that they need.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     REMEMBER…                                                                                                                                                                        When you invest in your healing, your emotional (or relationship) challenge could turn you into an EXPERT.  Ask me how.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       For enquiries or more information about this presentation, send an email to:                    info@andeline.co.za                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Thank you.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Andeline Williams-Pretorius.

Your well-being is my business.         

Are you feeling uprooted or blocked from who you are? Consider “being yourself for a living.”

Robin Wheeler set out in 1996 to ‘be himself for a living’ and soon founded BEntrepreneurING, which has grown to include various innovative ventures united by the BEING brand and concept.

Robin is the author of the INSIGHTS series on ‘being yourself for a living’, published by BEING Books. He presents conference keynotes, or BEING Talks, and does BEING Consulting for companies wanting game-changing transformation and branding projects.

He runs BEING Retreats to Thailand, and films some of them for television through BEING TV, which also works on the corporate projects. He maintains a strong independent voice by writing for and giving comment in the media, and is also a musician.

Robin Wheeler.  Author of the INSIGHTS series on ‘being yourself for a living.’  Robin is also an international Speaker.

A few years ago, I had the privilege to experience Robin as a speaker.  His message was different, positively and powerfully different.  It came from a truly authentic place and it is one that everybody needs to hear, read about or experience.  Robin, your work truly speaks to the soul.  As a result, Truer Insights simply had to accompany me on my sabbatical last year.

Below are the questions that I have asked Robin.  He answered and elaborated very generously and I have no doubt that readers will be left inspired; as much as I had been.

1. Your brand: “Being yourself for a living” is something that truly captures attention. What was the inspiration behind it?
The seed has always been in me and, after studying psychology, travelling Europe and working in corporate Human Resources, I was spurred by illness to live my way and do my thing without compromise. I came to call the experience ‘being yourself for a living’, which is what BEntrepreneurING helps people and companies do.

The inspiration comes from being aligned with myself and what the world needs, if you like, whether it is the writing, the strategic work or new business ventures, and from working with people.

2. When you look back to your childhood, is there something that stands out; something that makes you say that your brand is definitely something that you were meant to be? If yes, what is that something?
Distinctly, yes. It has always been an intuitive certainty that I could live this way and that we all need to for our individual and collective wellbeing. It’s been something that has never left me, no matter what challenges I’ve faced.

3. Why is it important that we should strive to be ourselves?
It’s the solution to everything in our lives. Being uprooted, distracted and blocked from who we are is our primary problem. So it’s not a striving, because striving perpetuates separation, but simply a relaxation into who we are, a coming home to ourselves. It happens now, not in the future.

4. In your latest book, entitled: “Truer Insights”, you focus on seventy-seven themes. All of them are very meaningful. The theme, entitled: “Inaccessibility”… Why do you think it is important that we take time out from the busyness and from the world to just be quiet, to think and reflect on ourselves, our journey?
That theme recurs in my writing and the ‘being yourself’ experience. Solitude is where the noise settles, clarity emerges, and inspiration invigorates. It is in stillness that we reconnect with our inner knowing.

It is the first half of the picture, neglected by most of us. The other half is co-creating with people while remaining rooted in ourselves. Life becomes a dynamic balance of the inner and outer.

5. “Truer Insights” is your fourth book in the INSIGHTS series. When you look at the first three books before Truer Insights, how are you different now, after writing and publishing your fourth book, compared to the time after writing and publishing your first book?
There are three earlier books before the INSIGHTS series as well. Once I stumbled upon the ‘insights’ format, which really suits my writing and the lifestyle of the modern reader, the books have kept coming and now there are the four available with more lined up. I have grown in all areas of my creative work and business, and mostly in myself, so the journey in the books is a spiral circling through all aspects of life, taking you deeper into yourself and higher in awareness.

6. Who is Robin Wheeler, apart from being an Author and international Speaker?
The overriding aspect of being yourself for a living is finding and expressing who you really are. Half of this is creating and the other half is rediscovering yourself. This is the spiritual aspect, if you like.

I could be called an artist using the world as my canvas, and an entrepreneur, finding fulfilment in realising vision and building relationships. I am a writer, of course, which is a way of life, and I speak professionally. Mostly, though, through all the forms, I am a mystery of consciousness just being myself!

7. What would you say to the aspirant Speaker and Author who currently doubts whether they could achieve their dream?
Be more than an author or a speaker, and what you write and speak about will flow from that. To be a speaker, there is no substitute for time at the front of the room and for having something sincere and insightful to share. To be a writer, write and keep writing. In both cases, authenticity will inspire and seduce you to self-actualise.

8.Being fake seems to be at the order of the day. What are the 5 most important things that you would like to say to the person reading here, about being themselves for a living?
•The false is promoted everywhere we turn, so we need to be real more than ever. It’s an inspired act of courage, intelligent rebellion and social change.

•Being yourself means stripping away who you are not. If it remains when all else fails, it’s authentic. Trust your struggles.

•Explore all your talents, they make you whole and have inherent wisdom. They also weave together to form your unique brand.

•Live creatively. Put your happiness, inspiration and lifestyle first.

•Integrate to innovate. How can you bring all your skills and talents together with meeting global needs into a simple creative service that is uniquely yours?

9. You were recently chosen to showcase your book at O. R. Tambo International. That was something that made me say: “Wow!” How did it make you feel to be acknowledged in that way?
It was a special opportunity and set of events, so I was grateful. It felt like work, though! All part of what I do. Bringing out a book opens the way for many constructive and mutually beneficial occasions, so it’s something to enjoy and give your best work to.

10. Where could the reader get more information about purchasing your books and about hiring you as a Speaker?
Insights (2007), Further Insights (2009), Deeper Insights (2010) and Truer Insights (2013) are all available in Exclusive Books around South Africa and from Amazon.com. For speaking, contact Amanda Ghigini on amanda@bentrepreneuring.com

                           The cover of Robin’s latest book, entitled: TRUER INSIGHTS.                                

If you need more information about Robin and about his work, you can visit his website or connect with him on Facebook and / or Twitter.                                                                                           http://www.bentrepreneuring.com                                                                                                       http://www.facebook.com/robinwheeler1                                                                                            @RobinBEING

Empathic Leadership – Themes (in English and in Afrikaans)

When it comes to Empathic Leadership, I focus on different themes. See below for the different themes and to see which one applies to your team or organisation?  My Empathic Leadership presentation is available in English and in Afrikaans.

AFRIKAANS

EMPATIESE LEIERSKAP TEMAS

 

About Empathic Leadership

Empathic Leadership is another addition to what I already have under my umbrella of Expert Positioning. This is an area that I have been exploring over a period of five years. And after my book about Empathy had been published by national publishing house: Naledi, I knew that it was time to turn Empathic Leadership into a reality.

In this book, I focus on various relationship challenges and on how this wonderful virtue could transform these relationships for the better, how an empathic approach could assist with building better relationships and with resolving conflict.  This not only apply to our relationships with our friends and family, but also to our relationships in the workplace and our day-to-day encounters with other people.

What is Empathic Leadership?                                                                                                                     Empathic Leadership is a leadership perspective that allows us to get into the shoes of others, to be mindful of their feelings and of their perspective. We do not have to adopt their perspective, we simply have to respect it.  And unlike popular belief, we do not lose anything in the process. Empathic Leadership requires a good dose of emotional intelligence as well as the wonderful ability to listen. With Empathic Leadership, we do not only identify what others are doing wrong, but we are also able to identify our own errors.

Why do we need Empathic Leadership?                                                                                                          We need Empathic Leadership, because we are in trouble. We are in trouble as far as our relationships are concerned, not only in our families, but also in our day-to-day encounters with others, in our work places and in our relationships with ourselves. We need Empathic leadership, because we are at a stage where too many people seem to be detached from themselves, from their ability to fairly judge right from wrong. Something is wrong when it is them, that other race, that other culture, that other religion, etc. However, when we do the same thing or when someone close to us does the same thing, that very wrong undergoes a miraculous transformation.

We do this and still call ourselves fair in our judgement of right wrong. We do this and still call ourselves leaders, professional and all the other fancy things that we like to attach to our names.

When was the last time you stood up for someone who didn’t have much of a voice?     This is just one of the characteristics of Empathic Leadership, something that has the ability to change the world for the better.

Richard Branson recently took a stand when he requested that Uganda be boycotted due to the law for the prosecution of gay people. He thought that the law violated the human rights of gay people. He doesn’t know the gay people in Uganda; they are not his friends or family. However, this business tycoon knows that gay people are human beings too and that they too deserve the right to be.

Zackie Achmat took a bold stand when he fought against the system to have antiretroviral drugs made more accessible to people living with HIV. A battle that he has fought for a while, a battle that he has won and in the process saved the lives of millions of people.

Prof. Jonathan Jansen is one of those people whom I admire for who he is and what he generally stands for. When he recently stood up against racial discrimination with regards to student accommodation in Bloemfontein, he did not say: “Oh let me not stand up, because that student is black and not Coloured.” This is what most people would do and do. When it is not someone from their race, culture or religion who happens to be on the receiving end of unkind, unfair or abusive treatment, they tend to look the other way.  And when we are confronted with various social problems, we fold our arms and ask: “What is wrong with our society?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I believe that our search for the answers has to start with every one of us looking in the mirror.  This is one of the most difficult things to do, but without it, positive and transformational change are not possible.  On the other side, it is really simple.  It is about asking yourself: “How would I feel if I was on the receiving end, if the person on the receiving end was my family member, someone from my race, culture religion…?  How would I feel?  Would I volunteer to be a bystander?

Neville Gaunt recently initiated a great discussion, entitled: “Bullying Cultures Reduce Results. Why don’t Leaders of HR fix it?”on the LinkedIn group: “Harvard Business Review.”  I appreciated the fact that he as a male initiated the discussion.                                     He didn’t say: “Well, I am not currently a victim of bullying; therefore I can’t possibly initiate such a discussion.”                                                                                                                                             See this link to follow the discussion                                                                                                                   http://www.linkedin.com/groups/Bullying-Cultures-Reduce-Results-Why-3044917.S.5857873347437686784?view=&gid=3044917&item=5857873347437686784&type=member&commentID=discussion%3A5857873347437686784%3Agroup%3A3044917&trk=hb_ntf_COMMENTED_ON_GROUP_DISCUSSION_YOU_FOLLOWED#commentID_discussion%3A5857873347437686784%3Agroup%3A3044917

I have found that when a female initiates such a discussion, she is generally seen as having “issues” or as having “victim-hood mentality”, or worse…

I hear of too many incidents about bullying in the workplace and in our society where the bully tends to get away with his or her behaviour.  All too often, the victim is seen as the problem. Most organisations see the bully as someone with a strong personality. This cannot be further from the truth.  And if a bully brings in money or clients that an organisation is afraid to lose, this may be the very reason why some do not address the problem.  However, if the problem is not addressed and you look the other way, your organisation will pay eventually. Because someone always pays when someone gets bullied or gets treated unfairly. Always!

I know that victims of bullying are not only female, but male as well.  I was overwhelmed by the number of individuals (from different races, both genders and from around the world) who responded to this discussion on LinkedIn. It tells me that people know and generally agree that bullying is a huge problem and that organisations stand to lose a great deal if they do not address the problem. If bullying is a problem at your work place, or if there are other relationship challenges that are having a negative effect on the productivity of your employees and ultimately on your bottom line, Empathic Leadership could help you resolve these problems.

How is Empathic Leadership different from other Leadership presentations?         Empathic Leadership goes where other leadership presentations do not go. With Empathic leadership we are getting real For Real. There is no sugar-coating, no looking the other way.  And we do this while we still remain respectful and sensitive towards the feelings of others. Most people are not able to do this, and that is why they mostly shy away from the difficult issues – hoping that it would resolve itself. Newsflash! It won’t.

Misconceptions about Empathy                                                                                                                        With my work in the Empathy-arena, I have found that a very large percentage of people believe that Empathy is synonymous with weakness. The truth is that the opposite is true. In my experience as a Counsellor, Life Coach and as Empathy & Relationship Expert, I know that it is strong people who are able to give empathy. Strong people are able to get into the shoes of others and are able to see things from the other perspective and are mindful of the feelings of others.

How can I assist you?                                                                                                                                                     For more information about Empathic Leadership, for what I focus on and how I could assist your group or organisation with building that empathic muscle for that positive transformation that you are looking for, do contact me.

Andeline Williams-Pretorius                                                                                                                     Inspirational Speaker, Trainer, Author,                                                                                                             Life Coach & Columnist to Kuier magazine, and                                                                                 Empathy & Relationship on SABC radio: RSG                                                                                                 Email: info@andeline.co.za