Expert Positioning (as Columnist to Kuier magazine) takes me to television

It gives me great pleasure to announce that I’ll be featured on the television programme: “Kollig” tomorrow (Tuesday evening, 22 July 2014) at 21h00. It was a huge compliment to be contacted by Moenier telling me that they would like to feature me (Kuier Coach) on this great program.  I immediately said yes and a few days later I received the shooting schedule and the date on which the shoot would take place.                                                                     I have a new-found respect for television producers, presenters and their whole team. We often switch on our televisions to watch our favourite programme and forget about the hours of work that goes into a recording.

Thank you Kollig-team                                                                                                                                                   I would like to thank the Kollig-team: Moenier Hendricks, Denver S. Vraagom, JP, Martin Gouws and the rest of the team. I am impressed with your level of professionalism and the manner in which you have executed your task.  Such professionalism is hard to find these days.  Thanks again.  Keep up your great work.

Thank you Kuier magazine                                                                                                                                           It is an absolute honour to contribute as Columnist to Kuier magazine; something that I’ve been doing for the last three years – without missing a deadline. Thank you to Kay, Raylentia, and the rest of the Kuier-team and to the wonderful readers.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

Thank you Riverlea Secondary School                                                                                                                 A part of the recording was done at Riverlea Secondary School, a school that I’ve worked with for a few years. I presented a talk to the learners. Judging by the feedback, they are hungry for more. I have been asked to come back on a regular basis, because the learners are dealing with so many challenges. Some of them are having difficulties at home, while it is also difficult to grow up in an environment where one is surrounded by various social ills.                                                                                                                                                                                             My message to the learners included the importance of goals, setting them and working hard at achieving them. Because I am from a similar background, I could tell them that their background doesn’t have to be the reason why they decide to quit. In fact, they could push themselves, accomplish their goals and be an inspiration to others one day, because of where they come from.

Please support this initiative at Riverlea Secondary School                                                                One of the objectives of The Empathy Foundation, NPO 070-849, is entrepreneurship. As a result, we’ll be presenting various training programs at the school. I believe that it is important that we equip learners with skills that would allow them to find their feet after school and to find ways of making things happen for themselves, especially those who would not be able to study further.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       We hope to, in future, roll out our training programs at more schools.                                               Should your organisation be interested in supporting this initiative, contact me (Andeline) for more information and about the benefits to you or your organisation.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             To visit the Facebook page of The Empathy Foundation, see this link: https://www.facebook.com/empathycampaignsa?fref=ts                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     The Empathy Foundation doing its bit in honour of Madiba Day                                                         Delphine and I delivered 67 loaves of bread and copies of Kuier magazine to Lodewyk P. Spies Home for the elderly in Eersterust, Pretoria (18 July 2014).                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   See this link for more images:                         https://www.facebook.com/empathycampaignsa/photos/pcb.739830532745981/739808169414884/?type=1&theater

From left to right: Andeline Williams-Pretorius (Founder) and Delphine van Wyk (office bearer and Empathy Angel extraordinaire).

Expert Positioning; if I could do it with so many odds that seemed to be against me, and then anyone can. I’ll soon be able to add a wonderful new chapter to my journey of Expert Positioning.  I will share more information about this new chapter soon.

Keep dreaming, keep doing and do not quit.

About Empathic Leadership

Empathic Leadership is another addition to what I already have under my umbrella of Expert Positioning. This is an area that I have been exploring over a period of five years. And after my book about Empathy had been published by national publishing house: Naledi, I knew that it was time to turn Empathic Leadership into a reality.

In this book, I focus on various relationship challenges and on how this wonderful virtue could transform these relationships for the better, how an empathic approach could assist with building better relationships and with resolving conflict.  This not only apply to our relationships with our friends and family, but also to our relationships in the workplace and our day-to-day encounters with other people.

What is Empathic Leadership?                                                                                                                     Empathic Leadership is a leadership perspective that allows us to get into the shoes of others, to be mindful of their feelings and of their perspective. We do not have to adopt their perspective, we simply have to respect it.  And unlike popular belief, we do not lose anything in the process. Empathic Leadership requires a good dose of emotional intelligence as well as the wonderful ability to listen. With Empathic Leadership, we do not only identify what others are doing wrong, but we are also able to identify our own errors.

Why do we need Empathic Leadership?                                                                                                          We need Empathic Leadership, because we are in trouble. We are in trouble as far as our relationships are concerned, not only in our families, but also in our day-to-day encounters with others, in our work places and in our relationships with ourselves. We need Empathic leadership, because we are at a stage where too many people seem to be detached from themselves, from their ability to fairly judge right from wrong. Something is wrong when it is them, that other race, that other culture, that other religion, etc. However, when we do the same thing or when someone close to us does the same thing, that very wrong undergoes a miraculous transformation.

We do this and still call ourselves fair in our judgement of right wrong. We do this and still call ourselves leaders, professional and all the other fancy things that we like to attach to our names.

When was the last time you stood up for someone who didn’t have much of a voice?     This is just one of the characteristics of Empathic Leadership, something that has the ability to change the world for the better.

Richard Branson recently took a stand when he requested that Uganda be boycotted due to the law for the prosecution of gay people. He thought that the law violated the human rights of gay people. He doesn’t know the gay people in Uganda; they are not his friends or family. However, this business tycoon knows that gay people are human beings too and that they too deserve the right to be.

Zackie Achmat took a bold stand when he fought against the system to have antiretroviral drugs made more accessible to people living with HIV. A battle that he has fought for a while, a battle that he has won and in the process saved the lives of millions of people.

Prof. Jonathan Jansen is one of those people whom I admire for who he is and what he generally stands for. When he recently stood up against racial discrimination with regards to student accommodation in Bloemfontein, he did not say: “Oh let me not stand up, because that student is black and not Coloured.” This is what most people would do and do. When it is not someone from their race, culture or religion who happens to be on the receiving end of unkind, unfair or abusive treatment, they tend to look the other way.  And when we are confronted with various social problems, we fold our arms and ask: “What is wrong with our society?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I believe that our search for the answers has to start with every one of us looking in the mirror.  This is one of the most difficult things to do, but without it, positive and transformational change are not possible.  On the other side, it is really simple.  It is about asking yourself: “How would I feel if I was on the receiving end, if the person on the receiving end was my family member, someone from my race, culture religion…?  How would I feel?  Would I volunteer to be a bystander?

Neville Gaunt recently initiated a great discussion, entitled: “Bullying Cultures Reduce Results. Why don’t Leaders of HR fix it?”on the LinkedIn group: “Harvard Business Review.”  I appreciated the fact that he as a male initiated the discussion.                                     He didn’t say: “Well, I am not currently a victim of bullying; therefore I can’t possibly initiate such a discussion.”                                                                                                                                             See this link to follow the discussion                                                                                                                   http://www.linkedin.com/groups/Bullying-Cultures-Reduce-Results-Why-3044917.S.5857873347437686784?view=&gid=3044917&item=5857873347437686784&type=member&commentID=discussion%3A5857873347437686784%3Agroup%3A3044917&trk=hb_ntf_COMMENTED_ON_GROUP_DISCUSSION_YOU_FOLLOWED#commentID_discussion%3A5857873347437686784%3Agroup%3A3044917

I have found that when a female initiates such a discussion, she is generally seen as having “issues” or as having “victim-hood mentality”, or worse…

I hear of too many incidents about bullying in the workplace and in our society where the bully tends to get away with his or her behaviour.  All too often, the victim is seen as the problem. Most organisations see the bully as someone with a strong personality. This cannot be further from the truth.  And if a bully brings in money or clients that an organisation is afraid to lose, this may be the very reason why some do not address the problem.  However, if the problem is not addressed and you look the other way, your organisation will pay eventually. Because someone always pays when someone gets bullied or gets treated unfairly. Always!

I know that victims of bullying are not only female, but male as well.  I was overwhelmed by the number of individuals (from different races, both genders and from around the world) who responded to this discussion on LinkedIn. It tells me that people know and generally agree that bullying is a huge problem and that organisations stand to lose a great deal if they do not address the problem. If bullying is a problem at your work place, or if there are other relationship challenges that are having a negative effect on the productivity of your employees and ultimately on your bottom line, Empathic Leadership could help you resolve these problems.

How is Empathic Leadership different from other Leadership presentations?         Empathic Leadership goes where other leadership presentations do not go. With Empathic leadership we are getting real For Real. There is no sugar-coating, no looking the other way.  And we do this while we still remain respectful and sensitive towards the feelings of others. Most people are not able to do this, and that is why they mostly shy away from the difficult issues – hoping that it would resolve itself. Newsflash! It won’t.

Misconceptions about Empathy                                                                                                                        With my work in the Empathy-arena, I have found that a very large percentage of people believe that Empathy is synonymous with weakness. The truth is that the opposite is true. In my experience as a Counsellor, Life Coach and as Empathy & Relationship Expert, I know that it is strong people who are able to give empathy. Strong people are able to get into the shoes of others and are able to see things from the other perspective and are mindful of the feelings of others.

How can I assist you?                                                                                                                                                     For more information about Empathic Leadership, for what I focus on and how I could assist your group or organisation with building that empathic muscle for that positive transformation that you are looking for, do contact me.

Andeline Williams-Pretorius                                                                                                                     Inspirational Speaker, Trainer, Author,                                                                                                             Life Coach & Columnist to Kuier magazine, and                                                                                 Empathy & Relationship on SABC radio: RSG                                                                                                 Email: info@andeline.co.za